Works for me

What’s with the compulsive need to tell others how to live their lives?

Or rather to tell others what the good life looks like? .
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Seriously.
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I’m always happy when someone tells me they enjoy their life. I really do enjoy that. And I enjoy it, too, when they tell me what they enjoy about their lives. And maybe what has been helpful for them. And when they created significant changes which they today identify as the thing that changed everything.
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Really.
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I’m curious and I love to hear stories.
I also love to question logic that doesn’t make sense to me. Mostly because there often is another level that does make sense to me, once I ask more and hear other aspects.
But this – simplification and truths for the whole world (or even just my network or my agegroup or)… I just don’t get them.
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Thing is – I do remember this need, too. I do remember thinking that only if others agree with me or would find my way of living desirable, is it justified for me to desire it. Or to be satisfied.
But that’s bullshit. Or rather – it has changed. At the moment I really like my life even if someone else might not desire it.
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And even though I know there is enough that could be better (creepy hot summer days in Denmark in the beginning of June – hello global warming) I like the way I live.
Although I get angry and frustrated with things (seriously, what’s up with the need to create an enemy out of whatever? We’re all afraid to die, I get it. And yes, I too really dislike certain people. But isn’t that enough? Do I really need to fabricate an enemy, where everyone will agree with me, so that I have a justification for disliking this person? ) I am satisfied with my ability to prioritize and make my own decisions. With the fact that I get to chose how to relate to things and deal with them. How to structure my week and day.
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But there are enough people in my life, who I think wouldn’t like my life. Or with whom I have no idea, which life they would like. There are also aspects in my life, that I wouldn’t have chosen to have in my life. But dealing with them and the outcome in the end, I do like. So.
What advice would that even be, if I were to tell anyone how to change their lives?
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First, you have to move a couple of times to cities that you actually don’t like. To really notice what the space around you means to you. Then you can move to a city that you really love and loved already for some time. This is important in order to fully appreciate and notice the difference.
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Second, you should stop listening to the tinnitus in your ear and the daily nosebleeds for a while, so that you after a few months of overworking, driving in the car wake up on the wrong side of the street and are very happy for the lack of traffic early in the morning, to be alive and unharmed. You will then notice, that this tinnitus thing could have been an early warning sign and might have given the chance to avoid the emotional crash following that car-ride and your uncles funeral. You will then notice, that you want to not repeat this but really enjoy an intense life and to have many diverse and interesting experiences. So you will explore the world for tricks to enjoy life with tons of energy and gaining more of it as you go along, instead of going through the same rollercoaster of project crash project crash project crash.
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Third…
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It feels so weird to think, just because I currently am at a place and state of mind that I enjoy, that I could give advice or even know the actual causality why anything went as it did. (Maybe someone else already knows that very well? So why give them this advice as the first step? Or maybe this does not, in fact, have such an importance for them as it had for me…)
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Ok. One thing that seems to repeat: when I pay attention to a subject, it changes. Or do I just notice the transformation more clearly and can compare it better?
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No idea.
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I like descriptions. And paying attention to details in a bigger context. And exploring which things could have a connection to what. And which small tiny change could alter the order of the whole system (my current life or just my way of relating to one specific person). I like trial and error with attention.
I get frustrated by „that’s how it always has been“ with a melody of “and always will be“ instead of daring to be uncertain and at the same time confident for „this works for me“ and “i’ll try”.
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Writing frustrated blogposts.
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Works for me.

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