Sometimes I don’t understand anything…and I enjoy it anyway
I can get really annoyed when someone tells me how I have to do something, in order for life to be wondrous.
You know, those posts where people give 5 steps you have to take in order to be successful.
Or deal with a relationship breakup.
I find it annoying and pretentious. Mostly because it is often written in this 100%-sure way of THESE are the steps.
Or when people talk about their new system in which they found happiness. Or their new theory on relationships, group dynamics or personality tests described in this and that book. Holistic thinking. Mindfulness. Crossfit. Business-Success.
And maybe they even worked for the person who is writing or talking.
But even if they do, how can they be sure it’s these steps that make it work? If they had been just as focused and used a different method, would they have different results?
I can really get worked up, because of what I perceive as false security in the presented system. Maybe I get so worked up, because I was looking for this myself a couple of times… It would be so much easier, if all the information I needed could be found in one place. Delivered by one person. Or one book.
But if I try this, it always fails. Because whoever the person, whatever the book – they don’t have the experience of my life. My body. My reality.
So… I can use others’ theory maybe to structure my thinking. Be inspired by their exercises or their approach in order to develop an approach that works in my life. Then I don’t have to buy into one system. Or person.
I can be inspired even by someone I’m angry at. By looking at what it is, that I don’t want to copy from the way they do things…
This is something I’m slowly learning.
And then recently I started getting questions myself… Questions that are so tempting to answer with advice. Oh yes. If you do it like me, you will have awesome results my friends!
People tell me, that I seem to have so much energy. That I seem to be able to keep on going, no matter how intense life becomes. And Aninia, how do you do it?
And then it’s tempting to say – you could do the same, if only you used my techniques! And here and here and here are the fifteen steps you have to do over the next three years.
However… I have no clue. I don’t even know for sure that what I have done intentionally, has lead to the effects of what I experience today. Or if this was just a way for me to structure my mind, guide myself through the passing of time and whatever happened happened by chance. Randomly. Because a person bumped into me in the supermarket.
Or because of the climate crisis. Or because I saw three red cars in a row yesterday.
All of these explanations would be again just a way of giving a reason for something I cannot have a full answer for. Because life is too complex to be explained in a few sentences.
Basically, I find it is too complex to be explained ever. Well, I don’t know if ever, because I might change my mind in a few months. But. For now. I don’t see how I can explain life and why things work or don’t.
But I can experience life.
I can experience what I find works and what doesn’t. And then I can aim at creating more of the experiences that I would like to have many of (= being well) and deal with it, if it doesn’t work out.
I’m practicing to keep my confidence, even in chaos. Even while I don’t know why things work out. Sometimes I manage, sometimes I don’t. The times that it works out are starting to overweigh the other ones, which is nice.
And what I want to offer is sharing my view. My perception. My presence while you might be going through something that’s tough and weird and confusing. Because sometimes, it’s just easier when you’re not alone in this practice. Especially when there are so many things that shout „KNOW!“ – „SEE!“ – “FOLLOW!” – “UNDERSTAND!“ –
I like it, when I don’t have to. Not because it’s always comfortable. But because I can relax and explore.
Sometimes I don’t understand anything. But I enjoy life anyways.
(this is how it looks when I use this approach in my own personal training…)
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