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Thoughts about menstruation, pain and ‘not more than others’

How many times have I heard, when I ask a client, whether they experience pain or discomfort around the time of their menstruation.

‚Not more than others‘
‚Only the first few days‘
‚When I take painkillers, its ok‘
‚Well yeah, of course‘
‚Yeah, just like my mother‘
‚In our family it’s normal to have migraine the day before‘
‚It’s the hormones’

And somehow this frustrates me so much.
I mean – there are different aspects to consider here.
Of course, it seems wonderful not to be too distracted by such regular pain. To be able notice that things could be relatively worse and so that seems to reduce the suffering.
The part that I can’t accept though, is a kind of giving up on the idea, that menstruating can be just another natural process of the body. The resignation in a way… having your period means having pain.

Which would mean, being a woman between 12-51 (average) means having pain. And for many, many women this is true.
And along come these comments, that women are unpredictable ‚in that time of the month‘, too emotional, too…
And there is a kind of acceptance, that this is how it is. Deal with it.
But I cannot accept that.

Mainly because I know it doesn’t have to be that way: There are enough women who don’t have pain, for me to know that it doesn’t have to be that way. And there is my own experience, that I used to have pain and learned to notice and relax the areas affected in a way, that I don’t have pain on a regular basis.
There is my experience with clients, who learn to notice what they can do, to be more flexible, clear and rested instead of being overwhelmed by cramping or feeling.
Which makes me curious to find out with each new person, what it is they need to do, in order to experience this cycle without pain.

If it were the hormones – then anyone with those hormones would have to have the same symptoms, no? So, instead I’m thinking it is my (learned, unconscious) reaction to a change in my body. Whether that is because of hormones or other processes, is irrelevant, as I’m experiencing it on a much larger scale anyway. (Or is there anyone out there, who literally feels the hormones? Those tiny-tiny-thingies?)

If it were the contraction in the low belly – then anyone with bowel movement, should also experience a form of pain, every time they go to the toilet. So (hopefully) daily. Which (fortunately) is not happening. Or when it does, it is considered something to be taken care of and not ‚just something you have to get used to‘… And then when we learn to relax the belly, the low back, the buttocks, the thighs… things can change.

Not to mention how little sense it makes in terms of evolution, to have such a crucial process for species’-survival be painful…

It makes me curious to find out, how we can listen to the pain and react to it, instead of getting used to it as a background-noise of our experience. When it’s not dramatic, but always ‚in the background‘, not as bad as others or other versions of a ‚normal‘ – it might be easy to ignore, with just a little effort.

Having listened to and observed bodies, it seems to me ‘that little effort‘ over time, becomes more. Or it numbs sensations that are otherwise important and then we only react when they are screaming at us. So maybe the monthly suffering is reduced by these ‘arguments’, but affecting other areas of life or times of challenge.

Pain, I think, is part of life. So I’m not proposing that we get rid of pain. But I’m proposing that we learn to listen to it, and react, move, change – in all those undramatic ways that are possible.

Relaxing the belly in daily life. Moving the pelvis and letting go of contractions in the neck. Letting go of the assumption, that some things are just so and we have to endure them.
Inviting curiosity.

Imagine, it can be just another process, happening in your body – as many times a year as it does, not complicating your life, but actually just as a part of its’ complexity. Enabling survival, pleasure, life…

If you want to explore this with me – with strong symptoms or subtle ones or just because you’re curious… Get in touch. I’ll be happy to accompany part of your journey.


  • “Tænker tit på dig og alt det du har åbnet op for mig. Jeg står stærkt i mig selv, stærk nok til at jeg kan hjælpe andre med at stå på deres måde.”

    / Hans Peter

  • “…hun er en fantastisk historie-fortæller med en no-nonsense måde at tale om personlig udvikling.”

    / Magdalena, trainer & facilitator

  • “Du hjalp mig meget med at komme ud af en slags boble jeg har været i siden ulykken.”

    / Astrid, 42 år

  • “Aninia har én helt særlig evne til at sætte sig ind i kroppen og dens reaktion på smerte. Hun er grundig, tillidsfuld og ikke mindst en god formidler.”

    / Stine, 28


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